#8

They hope
I'm just pretending and giving
My power

Caving into pressure
I'm not living for them
I live for something better

I know
I'm not good enough
I'm not what they expected
I'm not what they want

But
Let me tell you what
I know who I am

So, just throw me out
For not fitting in
And I will
Stand my ground
And be an outcast

I've tried
To play nice
I don't want to fight

But
I won't be gray
When its all black and white

Cause what I believe
Is what makes me strong
If I don't belong
I'll hold onto love

Be happy with the little that you have. There are some people with nothing that still manage to smile.

#7

Everyday.
I wish,
That i could be strong.
With the people surround me.

Yes. Sometimes,
I might cried so bad.
Or as we known as 'meroyan'.

That because,
I got nobody to talk to.
Nobody I could trust to let go.
Everything inside my heart.

It's pain,
So much damn f pain.
I realize,
Till now i'm not that strong.

Even i've tried so many ways,
To keep myself busy.
After some point,
I do need a buddy to talk to.

Somebody could understand.
Somebody could hear.
Somebody could rely to.

Oh God,
Why me?

#6

Sometimes I do wonder,
What makes people change?

Do people really change?

Changes should always be towards better,
But if changing to worst will be the biggest failure in life.

Life is always teaches us a lesson.
I stop explaining myself when i realized people
only understand from their level of perception.

#5

The world. My world, your world.
Both is beautiful place.
But also terrifying place.

Filled with bitterness and pain,
Broken and hatred,
Loneliness and fear.

There are people who will not do the right thing,
People who won't love you the way you love them,
People betrayed with each other.

But no matter what darkness clouds your line of vision,
No matter what weights bear down on your heart.

You're a light that cannot be dimmed.

Promise to be so bright that you blind,
Anyone who attempts to destroy you.
Promise to be so strong that you will outshine,
Those who do not see your existence.

#4

We're at the point where everything is really exhausting.
Waking up to work is hard to keep up with,
Working itself so hard to even think of with,
Maintaining friendship with the others,
Ups and downs of life relationship.

Do remember Him.

We have a tendency to think we only need Him on a bad days.
Everything is going well because of Him.
It is important to remember him,
for both bad and good times.

Don't take for granted.

What is so wrong with putting a smile to someone?
Who knows it may be the only positive thing in someone's day.
What is so wrong with that.
It may seem so small, but leave a big impact to others.

Not everyone will like you.


It may be a hundred likers on your instagram photo.
Perhaps only twenty people viewing your ig story.
But do you ever believe,
No matter what you're doing, people will judge you.

Take a deep breath.

Everything gets better someday.
Its only a matter of time.
Don't let something small get into you.
Take a breath and be strong.

If the road you're travelling is always easy,
You're likely going to the wrong way.

Oftentimes, things have to go wrong to go right.

#3

Don't ask me if i'm okay
Don't ask me how i'm doing
Don't ask me if i'm okay
Don't say that i'm in better situations
Don't say anything as you won't like what i'm gonna say

Don't say. Don't ask.

Don't tell me you know how i feel
Even it might be true
This grief is mine
For what length of time
It takes me, to get through
A lot ... A lot of experience

Just don't say anything

#2

Are there any girl go to sleep hoping and praying that they won't wake up in the morning?
Or any girl hoping that they might finally be accepted and loved?
Maybe wake up with full peace of mind as strong as they face the reality?
No need to puts up a fake smile but crying inside as go through the motion of life?

You're enough, more than enough.

As for myself, i kept reminding myself,
"Don't try to be anyone else to please the others, just be yourself."
You being yourself is much more perfect than trying to be somebody else.
Life should not be about pleasing the others.
But finding who we really are learning to love ourselves for that.
If you cant love yourself, then are you expecting someone else love you?

Wake up in the morning and remind yourself that each day you're growing up!

#1

Don't you just hate to see yourself in the mirror? 
*Please raise up your hand if you're like me too.*
Don't you ever hate when someone keeps comparing you with other girls?
How come i know i will be born like this and that. How fat am i, how ugly i am.
Yes, i do hate sometimes why i'm having this small sepet eyes which i've inherited since the birth.
Hate the reminder that i'm still as short as me for the past few years.
Also the evidence of me having an awkward smile all over my face.
The skin that i want to cover because of its color also my childhood marks.
The acne, marks and everything on my face that make me lose my self confidence to see other people.
Don't you wish you were anyone else not yourself?

I did.

Know what, when someone keeps telling me other girl is pretty, slim and gorgeous af.
Did you ever consider what's in my heart? How do I feel? 
You could make me feels like I wasn't worthy to be enough for somebody else. 
I know, there's no one in this world is perfect much but they still got their 'bonus' which is being pretty to be known. 
I feel like I wasn't good enough. Even I tried to change a lot of things about myself.
Guess what, nothing stays the same unless you're being yourself.

I hate myself because I couldn't love myself.

Perks of adoring how pretty girls out there.
I tend to keep my positive vibes in my damn f head.
I may have something that they never dreams of having.
It's not a crime live as imperfect and lacking like me.
I'm loved to be me, myself and I.
Thought i smiled and laugh every time someone makes a jokes of me.
At first, i just thought of its okay, its nothing to be hurt.
Sometimes its true. But what can I do?
I am me. I cannot ask for God to be reborn again.

Maybe they're right?

Yes, nobody could know what am I feel back then.
And yet, I find myself writing this, expressing am emotion which I wanted to voice out.
I lost myself. Personally I didn't want to own who I am.
I wanted to be better but not better me, a better somebody to be appreciate much.

This is how I stopped hating myself looking at the mirror. 
The girl in the mirror is me and I love her.
 
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